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But when it comes to advancing into full adulthood, people do so at widely varying paces, which leads to certain friends suddenly having totally different existences from one another. Anyone within three years of 30 has a bunch of these going on. Some people have become Future year-olds, while others are super into being Previous year-olds. At some point, things will start to meld together again, but being ish is the friendship equivalent of a kid going through an awkward pubescent stage. There are darker, more permanent Non-Parallel Life Path situations.
The Frenemy roots very hard against you. Those are bad emotions, but they can exist in people who are still good friends. You and the Frenemy usually go way back, have a very deep friendship, and the trouble probably started a long time ago. A little less dark but no less harmful is a bully situation where a friend sees some weakness or vulnerability in you and she enjoys prodding you there either for sadistic reasons or to prop herself up.
Whatever the reason, if you have a Frenemy in your life, kick her toxic ass off your mountain, or at least kick her down the mountain— just get her off of Tier 1. A Frenemy has about a tenth of the power to hurt you from Tier 2 as she does from Tier 1. Well done. Is one person allowed to be more of a dick to the other than vice versa?
In the Does This Friendship Make Sense graph above, the friendships we just discussed are all in Quandrants 2, 3, or 4—i.
How People Describe Depersonalization
And when a friendship is both in Quadrant 1 of the graph and on Tier 1 of your mountain—that friendship is a rock in your life. Investing serious time and energy into those is a no-brainer long term life strategy. But in the case of most people over 25—at least in New York—I think A not enough time is carved out as dedicated friend time, and B the time that is carved out is spread too thin, and too evenly, among the Tier 1 and Tier 2 friendships in all four quadrants.
In theory, once this happens, you can go back to just hanging out, shooting the shit, and actually being in the friendship. Most importantly, doing this clears up time to…. So go make plans with them. JoyBell C. I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird. We are all a little weird. And we like to think that there is always someone weirder.
I write weird stories. I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird. Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted. Patton Tweet. Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.
Normal People VS Weird People
People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history. Feel free to suggest any below!
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Aletheia Luna is an influential psychospiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide, she is currently based in Perth, Australia. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor and author, Luna's mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. We spend hundreds of hours every month writing, editing and managing this website.
If you have found any comfort, support or guidance in our work, please consider donating:. We would love to hear from you:. To customize your avatar, you can upload an image to gravatar. Receive our latest posts in your inbox! Wow…I found some of the quotes amazing, I must say that the first years of my life I was extremely weird.. I literally cut most friends off and am now on my way to Los Angeles to start an acting career. I would say the quote that hit me the most or means the most to me was Cecil Beaton: the play it safers..
Luna, thanks for the article, I needed to feel not alone on that topic tonight.
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Tersa Edmonson, fellow commenter, thank you for your comment too. I am restored. Embrace the difference! Thanks a lot Aletheia! I really appreciate it. I used to sleep with an elephant its purple I called Heffalump!
I put him away bcuz i felt it weird but I really miss him. Im getting him back : i like the jim shephard quote:. I love how you stand up for eccentric people like myself. The misfits. The rebels. No big deal, this has been fun, but I need clean hands in my business. No shame, just preferences. Some people find watching other people taking off their shoes insanely hot. Does a distaste for violence really make someone dull? I think so. They can make room for what they want without stealing space from anyone else.
Similarly, you moved very rapidly from the subject of dating a non-vegetarian to kissing a cheeseburger mouth. Do you see how your inability to respect your own boundaries is making you panic a little and shout about what you want instead of just asking? You need to take things much more slowly with men.
Make friends with them. Get to know them. Be patient. Forget finding love and get right with yourself. Getting right with yourself is as simple as listening to your heart for a change. Learn to notice your shame. Because your shame is making so much noise right now. You are spreading your shame far and wide. Can you start to look closely at your shame instead of turning it against other people? But I want to be direct with you because I think you need more than just a hand to hold.
18 of the most ridiculous song lyrics of all time · The Daily Edge
You need to hold your own hand for a change. But what you need is YOU. You need to stand up for your particular tangle of odd desires. You need to make peace with who you are. You need to spend some time alone, working through your feelings and looking honestly at some of your contradictions.
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Emotional, smart, anxious, sensitive weirdos really need to have a strong relationship with themselves. We have to have our own backs or we come across as unhinged. We need to audit our feelings a lot, because we often start storytelling in a defensive way in order to avoid being vulnerable and looking at the whole truth.